Weight loss struggles

I am learning a lot about myself lately going through the surgery and loosing the weight. I have realized I sabotage myself.

But why is the question that I am struggling to find out. I have some theories.

1.       I am afraid of failure so I sabotage myself before I fail.

2.       I am afraid of change

3.       I am afraid of attention

4.       I have hid behind a layer of fat that I felt has protected me all these years

I could go on. I have been through a lot of hard experiences in my life most like everyone else. We all have our stories.  Being heavy was my protection. I fed myself to make me feel better.  I ate when I experienced any emotions that hurt. Eating numbed me.

Now after this surgery I do not have that crutch so easily now. I have to cope a different way. I have to face my fears, anger, sadness and despair.

I am slowly doing this. I rely on the bible and praying to my Lord. I read the scripture The Armor of God.  Ephesians 6 :10 – 20.

One thing that I have learned from my brother is to enjoy one day at a time. I will take one step at a time, one breath at a time and one moment at a time.

Hi all

I am starting this blog to share my experiences that I am having from having weight loss surgery. I will tell everything like it is. I will share the good and also the bad of my experiences. I will share things that I have learned and what experiences I have had.

Hair Loss I consider this under the ugly catagory

Well I am starting to experience hair loss as a consequence of the weight loss surgery. I was hoping I would skip that phase of the experience. I have been told that it takes about two to three months after the weight loss surgery before hair loss starts and about seven months before it comes back.

I bought a wig and I wore it today. I do not like it very much. It is just not me. So I am still searching for a wig that I will be happy with. It is hard to find a blonde with out there that is shoulder length and has bangs.

I do not like this part of the process. Before I had my surgery my hair was thinning already due to PCOS. It was hard to deal with then, but now is worse.                 

I do not feel beautiful and am trying not to let myself get depressed about this. I just keep reminding myself that this is temporary! This surgery is worth it and I do feel happier and healthier.

I have lost 81 lbs now and I am off my blood pressure medication!